You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
