Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
third nipple confirmed
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
