My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
