David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
