It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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