At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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