There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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