i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
