I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
