Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
