His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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