Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize