I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
