I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
