Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
