I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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