butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
