just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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