i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
smell my finger.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
