When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
