I'm really into asian looking animals
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
