Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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