So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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