I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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