I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
