i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize