I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
