I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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