All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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