Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
