My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
