Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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