Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My pussy is not your playground.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
