I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im holly from the hills drunk
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
