wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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