i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...