My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.