We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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