hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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