That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
