I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
