i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
