I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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