hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize