3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
return my video game
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
