STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
