Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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