Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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