I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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