Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
