Princesses don't give blow jobs
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
