Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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