he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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