had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
