WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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