I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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