Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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