is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
