I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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