oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
