Your mouth is God's brothel.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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