Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize