..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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