Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
