If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
