If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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