1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
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Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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