I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize