Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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