check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
