can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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