wat bout pragnant strippers??
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I look better un-naked...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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