Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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