I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
